Mr. Ash Ketchum (aka Ketchum-San, Satoshi) and
“Gotta Catch `em All Gymnasium”
My client, Mr. Pikachu, a resident of Mt. Fuji forest and contiguous areas, does herein bring suit for damages against Ash Ketchum, the “Gotta Catch em All” gymnasium doing business in every town, district, and territory.
Mr. Pikachu seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering caused as a direct result of the actions and/or gross negligence of said individual and company under Title 15 of the Pallet Town Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), Conspiracy to Travel in Interstate Commerce in Aid of Unlawful Activities and to Sponsor a Pokemon in Fighting Venture; 18 P.T.C . § 371 Conspiracy to Travel in Interstate Commerce in Aid of Unlawful Activities and to Sponsor a Pokemon in a Fighting Venture.18 P.T.C. § 373 Wrongful imprisonment in a Pokeball.
Mr. Pikachu states that on ninety-eighty separate occasions he has been forced to fight on behalf of Ash Ketchum (hereinafter, “Defendant”), which did cause him dramatic psychological harm and bodily injury. A Pokeball is proof of his living conditions during this time is at present in the possession of the Court, marked Exhibit A. The psychological and physical injuries sustained by Mr. Pikachu have permanently restricted his ability to make a living in his profession of forest spirit. Mr. Pikachu is self-employed and thus not eligible for Workmen’s Compensation.
Mr. Pikachu states that on September 14th he was captured by the Defendant while minding his own business in the forest. The Defendant captured him through the use of a restraining device (Pokeball) similar to torture chambers used in secret CIA prisons documented as human rights abuses by the World Court and many United Nations countries. While confined to the Pokeball he had no freedom of any limb, nor could he breathe or move in any way. He was routinely confined to the Pokeball for days at a time.
Paragraph One of the Report of Attending Physician (Exhibit B), prepared by Dr. Trip, M.D., details the multiple fractures, contusions, and tissue damage suffered by Mr. Pikachu as a result of his time imprisoned in a Pokeball and forced to engage in unlawful Pokemon fighting at the direction of the Defendant. Repair of the injuries requires a full bandage around the head (excluding the ears), a neck brace, and full or partial casts on both legs and his electric tail. In addition, Mr. Pikachu is diagnosed with PTSD causing him sleepless nights and making him unable to work.
Hampered by these injuries, Mr. Pikachu was nevertheless forced to continue fighting for the sole purpose of Mr. Ketchum’s pleasure. Mr. Pikachu states that on occasions too numerous to list in this document the Defendant violently threw him into an arena with another Pokemon in a fight to near death. On several occasions Mr. Pikachu overhead the Defendant talking to (once to Professor Oak) stating he made no money from these fights and his sole purpose was for the learning experience.
In addition to reducing all Mr. Pikachu’s life to horrific gladiatorial combat with an ever present fear of death, the Defendant’s actions resulted in the following disfigurements to Mr. Pikachu:
- Severe singeing of the hair on the head, neck, and body.
- Fracture of the left ear at the stem, causing the ear to dangle in the aftershock.
- Full or partial combustion of whiskers, producing kinking and frazzling.
- Radical shape of the eyes appearing as “X”s while unconscious.
Mr. Pikachu respectfully requests that the Court regard these larger economic implications and assess punitive damages in the amount of thirty million dollars. In addition, Mr. Pikachu seeks actual damages (missed meals, medical expenses, days lost from professional occupation) of one million dollars; general damages (mental suffering, injury to reputation) of twenty million dollars; and attorney’s fees of eight hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
By awarding Mr. Pikachu the full amount, this Court will censure Defendant, The Gotta Catch `em All Gymnasium, its directors, officers, shareholders, successors, and assigns, in the only language they understand, and reaffirm the right of the individual forest spirit to equal protection under the law.
The victim impact statement is submitted on behalf of Mr. Pikachu and witnesses including numerous Bulbasaur, Squirtle, and Charmander Pokemon seized from the”Gotta Catch em All” Gymnasium and for those Pokemon which were brutally imprisoned and tortured by Ketchum and his cohorts. The brief includes a description of the systematic abuse and torture which is inherent to the business of Pokemon fighting as well as the collateral effects of Pokemon fighting which criminalizes a noble breed of Pokemon (Pikachus) and tarnishes the reputation of responsible Pikachu owners everywhere.